We talked about it, we thought about it, and here it is.
A blog. Woo!
I like to pretend like I know what I'm doing, but often times, if you'll permit me to be real, I just have a large enough lack of common sense that I can pretend it is courage and I just wing it. So, since I am about to start reading Crazy Love for myself, since I have a blogamajigger account, since I have time on my hand, and since I can type (yay fingers!), here we are.
Confession time: I haven't started reading yet. I have nothing useful to tell you, nothing pertinent to ask you, and no idea what I'm going to type next. I guess this is a part of the 'winging it' thing...
I do...however...have the sermon notes from this weekend...and I DO have a need to practice. Oh, boy do I have a need to practice patience. Then again, don't we all? Part of the discussion last night circled the idea that our culture and our plugged in existence distracts us and hinders us from being more patient. As soon as I hit enter after I finish rambling, I'm published! As soon as I hit "send" from my phone I'm initiating a conversation via text, as soon as I poke the glowy screen on my Google Machine I'm opening the world wide database of facts and information...
Mind boggling.
But...in the end...useless.
If I had the gift of prophecy...(I wonder how old Charlton Heston is...)...and can fathom all mysteries...(hey how many sightings of the Loch Ness monster have there been?)...and all knowledge...(How many different species of trees grow in California, Siri?)...and if I have a faith that can move mountains...(Kony, AIDS Walk, Women's Rights, call your Senator!)...but have not love, I AM NOTHING.
It may appear silly to have my stream of conscious word associations interjected into 1 Corinthians 13:2, distracting, even. Did it make you lose your patience trying to read God's word? Did you want to just shut my comments up and read the Scripture? Can you honestly tell me you do any better in your head?
One of my biggest struggles in the spiritual disciplines is creating a space for solitude. I grew up with rock and roll, shouting across the house instead of walking ten feet to talk to the other person, aircraft from the nearby military base roaring overhead (the sound of freedom! 'Murica!), and just plain old noise. I like noise. It means I'm not alone. It means that I'm not stuck with the sinister thoughts that creep out of my head when things get too quiet. It means that there are signs of life not too far away. It also means that I can't hear the whispers of my Creator when He has something special to say to me.
Another problem with noise, I found, is the tempo. Jeff's Hotel and Restaurant Management degree has had some second hand effects on me. For example, I've learned about menu placements. I've also learned about how certain music volumes and genres can be used to manipulate customers into eating faster. Talk about your conspiracies! Life's business does the same thing to us...it creates a beat in our heads that doesn't jive with the rhythms of grace.
NOW NOW NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT PICK IT UP YOU ARE LATE WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T TALK TO MY I'M BUUUUUSYYY!!!!
How stressful. God didn't mean for us to live like this. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we let objects dictate our schedule instead of being in command over our lives? I think it is rather pointed that, after the fall in Genesis, it isn't mentioned ever again Adam and God taking time to walk together. I think maybe we need to make that time.
We make time for things that are important to us. You are never too busy to put gas in your car. You are never to busy to feed your children. Rarely are we too busy to look at Facebook. Why are we too busy to put gas in our spiritual tanks? Why are we too busy to feed our spirits? Why are we too busy to look at God?
I wish I could summon the abilities of Pastor Jeff into my blog to give you a rousing sermon to rally you to fight. I ask myself those questions daily. One step forward is the only thing I can think to tell you.
I can't be perfect in a day. Or a week. I don't think I'll even begin making inroads to REAL change, DEEP change, in even a year. But this I do know: If I take steps every day to become more loving, to become more patient, to listen better, to create space in my reaction times, God will be faithful to meet me where I am and provide what I lack.
Pastor Jeff has given us four steps to practice. Each step is a step forward. It feels cliche to type it out, but any step forward is a step forward. Duuuuuh, Megan. Great logic there...
But really it is. Four steps a day for a week. A year. Five years. How far will you have gotten?
Prayerful Examination: PJ tells us this week to read aloud Psalm 139:23-24.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
How awesome is that? "God, do I have problems?" "Yes, my child." "Can you help me see them and show me where to go from here?" "Yes, my child."
The only one ever surprised that I have a problem is me. God knows us. He's delighted to help us change. so...ask already!
Grateful Reflection: Remembering what God has done for us in the past gives us hope for the future problems. Remember being a little kid? It wasn't that long ago for me, to be quite honest. I remember at the age of seven or eight how much I anticipated Christmas. Yes, it is only October, I'm sorry for mentioning it, but bear with me. Christmas for us meant seeing our extended family. It meant awesome food and awesome gifts. It meant romping with cousins my own age and being able to run around my grandpa's property. Where had I learned to anticipate all these good things? From the previous Christmases, of course! God's gifts are daily things, not annual. He is an ever-present help. Maybe I have a hard time looking back at what God has done because I've begun to take it for granted...
There's a cure for that, thank goodness.
Daily, take time to be grateful. Are you breathing? Do you have clean water? Do you have Ebola? Do you have salvation?
Pastor Jeff talked about graduate level gratitude rather than elementary gratitude, but I feel like if you need to work up to it, work up to it. At least in elementary school we got gold stars and nap time, right?
Thoughtful Elimination: Every action is a reaction to a thought. Wow, we just nose-dived, didn't we? One minute I'm talking about naps and now I have you thinking about thinking. I'll take a moment to let you recover from that whiplash.
...
All better? Good. Here we go. Neuroscience is fascinating and I barely understand it. This study of the physical process of thoughts is still a young science, but dang is it awesome to read about. I don't know enough to regale you with this study or that one, but it comes down to this:
stimulus---->response.
And during the "----" we can intercept that thought and choose our response. Oh look, a sermon synopsis! After all this time! Anyway...Like a football player, like a baseball player, like a kid with a butterfly net...catch those thoughts. Stick a pin in them and mount them on a corkboard to show everyone at church. "I caught this Anger specimen last week. Instead of stinging me, it's stuck to a corkboard!"
I'm very weird. Why are you still reading this?
Scripture Meditation: A kid with a butterfly net, a baseball or softball player, a basketball player, a pilot, a musician....all walk into a bar.
No. That's not where I'm going with that list. They all have a goal and training, however rudimentary, to get there. The budding entomologist has their dog earred and well read bug book. The pitcher has their bullpen. The basketball player does hours and hours and hours and hours of free throws to make it look effortless (I'm looking at you, Michael Jordan), a pilot practices landings so they don't spill your coffee when they screech into LAX, a musician had their chords and riffs and fingering charts and concert pieces...
A whole paragraph to say they practice. Obsess, even.
Why?
To get better. No other reason. Get better, get more rare bugs. Get better, strike more people out. Get better, get paid.
So what do we do to get better? What do we do to equip us to evangelize, to encourage, to teach, to be image bearers of God?
What should we do?
I keep hitting enter like I'm writing a manifesto. Maybe I am. If I am, then I definitely need to include this. We are God's people and should therefor know God's word. We should be preaching with what we practice and we should practice what God Himself has preached through His word.
He didn't record the acts of the Old Testament so we could wink-nod about how silly Levitical Law was. He didn't allow Jonah's story to be recorded so we could argue about 'is it a whale or a fish' with nonbelievers. He wrote and recorded a story of blood, sacrifice, tears, and despair, of redemption and hope and Resurrection so that we could have hope. So that we could know Him. So we could see how from the very beginning when the first stars came hot off the forge He knew where this train was headed and He wasn't going to stop just because we happened to mess up.
We should meditate on God's word because it is how we know Him and His love for us. We meditate so easily about what was said in the office or what so and so said on our Facebook post, but we don't have time for the Creator of the Universe who has waited for us to pick up His love letter and get to know Him?
I'll get off my soapbox. I'm just as guilty about not doing what needs done and for not grabbing my destiny in a tight fisted grip. I'm just as seduced by being busy and not taking the time to do what I know I need to do. I don't think that excuses me from saying what needs said, however.
If we are going to be a people who change the world, then we must first change ourselves.
We have the tools, so let's get to work.
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